Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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