I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
