wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
