WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
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I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize