you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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