Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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