walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
