Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
