I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
