I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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