I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
