my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
