the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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