Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize