on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
