now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize