You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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