On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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