yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
