The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
