Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Can you bring me the toilet please
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize