Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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