brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
