lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
