Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
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