it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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