my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize