If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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