Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
