I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
