As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I am available for nakedness
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