I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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