Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i dont even know how to be here
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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