I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
As shirtless as possible
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
