he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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