I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
