Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
