Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
