I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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