I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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