My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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