I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
