Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize