More tranny stories later!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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