Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
