you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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