I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
soo... how was my night?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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