I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
