True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
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I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
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Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize