i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
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apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
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You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.