My first STD was from a foam party
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I am mentally ready for anal.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
