Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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