he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm both gender and math confused
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
