Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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