Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
