Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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