I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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