end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
FUCK WHALES
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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