oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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