Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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