O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
there's paper in my vomit.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
two words...techno handjob
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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